The #1 Strategy For Managing A Meltdown
There's nothing like a good old meltdown that makes you want to throw in the towel and schedule a day off (or maybe a few days off) from parenting.
Wouldn't that just be so great if we could schedule time off from parenting like we do for our jobs? #wishfulthinking
Today I'm sending out a big hug to all the parents that are currently dealing with high frequency meltdowns and tantrums.
It can feel like you're stuck in a vortex of whining, screaming, crying, hitting, biting, kicking, and the list goes on...
Sometimes it feels like it's never going to stop
... and then when it does stop it feels like it can spark any second (walking on egg shells is no fun)
Sometimes you just want to cry (or yell) because you don't know what to do anymore and you feel like you're losing big time.
Feeling out of control totally sucks.
I've been there, I totally get it.
It's inevitable- our kids are going to have meltdowns. We can't avoid that- it's part of growing up. Our little people are entitled to their big emotions and they have to come out some way or another.
I'm going to share one simple tip that I want you to try next time your child throws it down.
Once the meltdown starts I want you to remove your child (as best as you can) from the environment where it started, move to a quiet space and work on co-regulating. Let them get it all out- let them scream and cry all they want.
Your job is to stay calm and show them you are regulating your own emotions. They need to see this to feel safe and secure.
They need to experience the boundaries you are setting around the emotional outburst.
They need to experience your regulation to be able to calm themselves.
This is what we call co-regulation.
YOU are the driving force here.
You have the ability to regulate- they don't.
They are relying on you here!
You can rub their back, hug them, or just sit there with them and reassure them that you're there.
They need your calm. Remember this next time you go to react with your own big emotions to their meltdown.
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